Curiosity
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: Reflecting upon a starry night, Ruby wonders what it would be like to have a boyfriend. Even if it's just for pretend.


**Summary: **_Reflecting upon a starry night, Ruby wonders what it would be like to have a boyfriend. Even if it's just for pretend._

**Curiosity**

**RWBY**

_Written from the perspective of Ruby Rose_

* * *

><p><em>What's it like to fall in love?<em>

Even I wonder sometimes what it's like. It's a curious thing, really. When I'm looking out at the night sky and I see the stars twinkling off light years away, the very thought enters my mind and just won't go away.

From what Yang tell me, it's all _smoochie faces_ and _kissing noises_ for the grownups, with all that _lovey dovey stuff_ and whatnot. Blake says that it's about two people connecting their minds, hearts, and bodies in hot, sweaty _passion_ underneath the moonlit sky… Weiss says that love is overrated.

But what do I think? I don't know, but I really want to find out!

Is it so wrong to want to fall in love? Boys have never been all that interested in me. Yang must have some polarity semblance for boys because she keeps attracting them. Once I heard Nora make the offhand comment about Yang having two magnets in her chest. That's cheating.

Yeah… that's the story of my school life, really: living in the shadow of the sun. But hey! Roses bloom too!

Maybe it's time for my springtime of youth?_ Gah!_ So much pressure… I want to experience love. I want to feel my chest swell and my cheeks flush and my heartbeat quicken. After all, you only get one first love…

Welp. I s'pose Jaune will have to do.

* * *

><p>"You want me to pretend to be your <em>what<em>?"

"My boyfriend!" I chirped. I said it like the most obvious thing in the world, which it should have been at this point since I kept telling him it over and over. It must have been a millionth time already. We were sitting in the cafeteria, just the two of us, eating breakfast. "All you'll have to do is do couple stuff with me. You know, _lovey dovey stuff_."

Jaune's fork was perpetually stuck halfway from his plate and mouth. The syrup on the slice of pancake had long since dried.

"I-what-wait-you want me to-" Jaune fumbled for words, but I didn't really care. My eyes were on his pancake. _It can't go to waste!_ My mind was screaming.

"Be my pretend boyfriend," I repeated slowly, making sure to enunciate every syllable. Jeez, I knew Jaune was doing badly in school and all, but even he should know Basic English, right? The pancake piece was waving in the air as Jaune scratched his head with his free hand.

"I… really? Me? Aren't there… Ren?"

"Nora wanted to borrow Crescent Rose if I wanted to borrow Ren."

"And that wasn't an option?" he asked hesitantly.

"No one touches Crescent Rose but _me_." I seethed darkly.

"... Okay then," he squeaked.

"But anyway," I grinned, abruptly changing the subject. "You're free! I mean, didn't Weiss shoot you down yesterday and the day before that?"

"Ouch. Double ouch."

"And the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that…"

"Ruby."

"And the day before tha-wait, no. That day Neptune got there first so-"

"_Ruby_."

"Yes?" I piped, looking up at one very tired Jaune Arc. Why was he tired? Didn't he get enough sleep last night?

A sigh. "Thanks for reminding me."

"No problem!" I beamed. Jaune was a bit forgetful.

Like now. Seriously. How could he forgot that piece of goodness on his fork? It jiggled in the morning air, the smell wafting into my nostrils. It smelt so delicious… it looked so soft… it didn't help that it was a chocolate chip pancake, too. You know, like the ones that taste almost exactly like a cookie, but… _pancake-y_.

I was drooling. The pancake piece seemed to get bigger and bigger…

"Look Ruby I…"

I leaned in closer. I could hear its cry, like a child sobbing for his mother…

"... I don't know what to say. I mean it's just so sudden…"

I could almost taste it on my lips.

"... And I really think that-"

_Chomp!_

I began chewing.

"Hm? You were saying something?" I asked, slightly muffled by a mouthful of pancake. It was slightly impolite, I know, but the look he was giving me was strange. Jaune stared, wide-mouthed. "Huh? What are you staring at?" I said with a swallow.

"R-Ruby…" he stuttered. "You just ate my…"

"It's not like you were eating it," I stated in an as-a-matter-of-fact-ly tone. It was true! He wasn't eating it.

"B-but...look… everyone…"

I looked up to see that I was looking straight into the gobsmacked eyes of the rest of Team RWBY and Team JNPR.

Weiss spoke first.

"Are you and the doofus…?"

Pyrrha's lips were quivering.

"Ruby… Jaune… I had no idea you two were so…"

Yang then said what was on her mind.

"Use protection if you're going to do the devil's tango."

* * *

><p>So, for the next few days Jaune and I were the hottest new couple in Beacon. Apparently eating off someone else's plate was something lovers did.<p>

That's neat. More food for me!

So there I was, eating Jaune's fried pork and curry lunch special in the boiler room. The young Arc himself was pacing back and forth in front of me, biting his nails.

"Ruby!" he exclaimed, terror in his eyes." Don't you realize how serious this is?"

I took a spoonful of delicious rice drenched in curry, with little soft bread crumbs mixed in to give it a delightfully fluffy yet toothy texture.

"Nope!"

Another spoonful down the hatch.

He gave a strangled cry. "All of Beacon thinks we're a couple. Pyrrha won't talk to me, Weiss keeps laughing at me, and Yang won't stop giving me balloons! The school newspaper even wrote an article on us!" He pointed an accusatory digit at me. "And you even gave them an exclusive interview!" he moaned in frustration.

I tilted my head. "Why's Yang giving you balloons?"

"I dunno, but they're really weird, long, and stretc-that's not the point right now!" He was frazzling his already frazzled hair. Stop being so frazzly, Jaune. "I can't believe you actually agreed to that interview."

"They made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"You sold me out for a _box of cookies_!"

"Hey, they weren't just any box of cookies! They were _Huntress' Scouts cookies_," I defended. Jeez, we needed to do something about my pretend boyfriend's lack of knowledge when it came to cookie etiquette. "Thin Mints to be exact. You know they only sell them once a year? And besides, I'm proud to support the local Huntress' Scouts troop. Troop Beacon 722-4 represent!" I stood up and did a salute.

"You told the newspaper I sleep with a teddy bear," Jaune said holding up a newspaper. His lower lip was wobbling.

I tilted my head. "But you do, don't you?"

"Yes! But does the _whole world_ need to know!?"

"Hmm…" I brought a finger to my lips.

"I think it's cute."

"Wh-wha!" He stared at me like I had grown an extra head. Attention, people who do that to me: stop giving me hope. "Wh-what are you saying?"

I took a deep breath. Sometimes Jaune really does need to be told things several times before he gets it.

"I think a guy who sleeps with a teddy bear is kind of cute."

Jaune looked at me in horror.

"That's it," he said. "I'm going to talk to Pyrrha about this." He began to make his way to the boiler room's exit. I was still chilling, munching on my curry plate.

The door opened, and we were met with a blur of noise.

A swarm of people had gathered around our lunch-eating place. A newspaper reporter was shouting, "Hottest couple just got even hotter!" and other nonsense lines. There was even someone talking to a camera and calling it a 'scandal'.

_Flash! Flash! Flash!_

* * *

><p>Jaune was sitting on his bed. His head was in his hands. He was crying. Poor Jaune.<p>

"I'll leave," he sobbed. "I'll transfer out. Oh man, I can't live with myself anymore."

I sat next to him. "There, there," I said, patting his back. "I'm sure the rumors will die down eventually… and besides, what's wrong with a guy and a girl sitting together in a dark boiler room? Sometimes a guy and girl don't wanna be disturbed!"

Jaune looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Sometimes I forget that you're so innocent and naive," he groaned.

"Hey," I spoke up, offended. "I may be small, but I've got a lot of street cred. Ha cha!" I did an air karate chop and kicked an air dummy. He couldn't help but laugh at that. "Come on Jaune," I encouraged. "It's not so bad."

"Really?" He looked at me incredulously. "How can this get any better?"

Silence.

I shrugged. "I dunno."

Jaune sighed. "Thanks, Ruby…"

"No problem, lover," I said with a smile.

"Huh?" Jaune looked at me like I was some kind of alien from the shattered moon. "What… did you say?"

I repeated myself. "No. Problem."

"No, I mean that last part…"

I cocked my head. "Lover?"

"Yeah…" His eyes were rounder than dinner plates. "What was _that_?"

I was confused. "Isn't that what you call someone you love?"

"Yes… wait." He began to hyperventilate. "Wh-what are you saying?!"

I sighed. Jaune really was a dense idiot sometimes. Looks like I gotta repeat it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm gonna have to repeat it for the rest of his life. Just so he never forgets.

"I'm saying," I smiled. "That_ I love you_."

Jaune fainted.

* * *

><p><em>Curiosity Fin<em>


End file.
